Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Million Dollar Ideas 11/29/2007
Sure, one day I'll have Billion dollar ideas, but that will be largely due to inflation. So today, I am creating inflation with my MILLION DOLLAR ideas:
1) Holiday shopping at the mall and can't find what you need? Walk over to the AMAZON.COM KIOSK....by making small Amazon service centers, users without accounts or not comfortable using the Internet can get assistance from Amazon personnel who can also track their packages, essentially providing a full-serve solution (as opposed to self-serve).
2) Organic Pepsi. The health nuts will eat (or drink it up)...it would be naturally sweetened with condensed fruit juice, agave or honey (a la Mani's on Fairfax). I think it was Billy Idol who once commented that Coca Cola is a social equilizer because no matter how much money you have, you drink the same Coke as the lower class. C'mon, people, let's get elitist! Sell it at Whole Foods for mad profit! Sell it as an upgrade to McDonald's combos.
Spend more this holiday season. It's the American way!
Send checks and money orders to David ben-Avram.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
1) Holiday shopping at the mall and can't find what you need? Walk over to the AMAZON.COM KIOSK....by making small Amazon service centers, users without accounts or not comfortable using the Internet can get assistance from Amazon personnel who can also track their packages, essentially providing a full-serve solution (as opposed to self-serve).
2) Organic Pepsi. The health nuts will eat (or drink it up)...it would be naturally sweetened with condensed fruit juice, agave or honey (a la Mani's on Fairfax). I think it was Billy Idol who once commented that Coca Cola is a social equilizer because no matter how much money you have, you drink the same Coke as the lower class. C'mon, people, let's get elitist! Sell it at Whole Foods for mad profit! Sell it as an upgrade to McDonald's combos.
Spend more this holiday season. It's the American way!
Send checks and money orders to David ben-Avram.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Get Sick
I scream, you scream we all scream for ice cream. But what if ice cream in your new town was different, foreign? Would you still scream for it?
Call these characters the heterosexual Village People, but just don't these Blue Bell treats ice scream! All I know is that Texas ice cream, for better or worse, is not ice cream! It's entertainment!
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Call these characters the heterosexual Village People, but just don't these Blue Bell treats ice scream! All I know is that Texas ice cream, for better or worse, is not ice cream! It's entertainment!
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Norman Mailer
I somehow survived 25 years on this earth with only minimal knowledge of Norman Mailer. Now, after his passing, I am hugely wishing I had read him, watched his interviews, studied him. The best I can recount is reading "The White Negro" in an American Studies class. Search The Huffington Post and I'm sure one of the more than 2500 references will pique your interest.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
American Girls, Dallas
What a cute store...full of educational dolls for girls. Can't they do something about about the way the dolls sit? It's not very lady-like.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Courtesy of the Huffington Post Daily Brief
Gentle Readers,
I encourage you all to subscribe to the Huffington Post Daily Brief. The introduction for today's e-mail was uniquely amusing:
Even with brutal economic news to serve as an incentive, will Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and their ilk sacrifice for the war effort by purchasing less Islamofascist gasoline for their Ford F-150 Microphalluses? No way. Too moonbatty. Devising new and hilariously clever agitprop words like "Defeatocrats" is clearly more patriotic than actually addressing the principle source of global and domestic instability: oil and gasoline.
I encourage you all to subscribe to the Huffington Post Daily Brief. The introduction for today's e-mail was uniquely amusing:
Even with brutal economic news to serve as an incentive, will Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and their ilk sacrifice for the war effort by purchasing less Islamofascist gasoline for their Ford F-150 Microphalluses? No way. Too moonbatty. Devising new and hilariously clever agitprop words like "Defeatocrats" is clearly more patriotic than actually addressing the principle source of global and domestic instability: oil and gasoline.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Notes to a friend
Work is a little slow. For the most part, I spend between 8 and 9
hours a day taking online classes. So far, I've completed a lot of
stuff on Medical Terminiology which should be coming in handy with my
nursing career and I'm studying ICD-9s now and then I move onto HCPCS.
Do they teach you that stuff in Med School? Well, obviously medical
terminilogy is wasted on you doctors, but what about ICD-9s and HCPCS?
Things are going better since she's been out here. We celebrated by
going out to Morton's of Chicago. I'd always wanted to go to Morton's
and it was a pretty awesome meal and the service and experience was
incredible, but the food was way richer than I'm used to you. My
feces looked like an oil spill, which I guess it was!
Let's let that sink in for a minute, shall we?
I've been reading The Areas of My Expertise which is an incredible
book. It's a fake almanac, so it's the kind of thing you can pick up
at your leasure (even forget where you left off) and enjoy it.
Well, I think that's awesome that you are now wooing a Chinese
American. Does she speak English? I hope so!
Seriously, you've had women of all colors now except the very dark ones (black).
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
hours a day taking online classes. So far, I've completed a lot of
stuff on Medical Terminiology which should be coming in handy with my
nursing career and I'm studying ICD-9s now and then I move onto HCPCS.
Do they teach you that stuff in Med School? Well, obviously medical
terminilogy is wasted on you doctors, but what about ICD-9s and HCPCS?
Things are going better since she's been out here. We celebrated by
going out to Morton's of Chicago. I'd always wanted to go to Morton's
and it was a pretty awesome meal and the service and experience was
incredible, but the food was way richer than I'm used to you. My
feces looked like an oil spill, which I guess it was!
Let's let that sink in for a minute, shall we?
I've been reading The Areas of My Expertise which is an incredible
book. It's a fake almanac, so it's the kind of thing you can pick up
at your leasure (even forget where you left off) and enjoy it.
Well, I think that's awesome that you are now wooing a Chinese
American. Does she speak English? I hope so!
Seriously, you've had women of all colors now except the very dark ones (black).
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Sunday, November 11, 2007
My Review of Superdrag's In the Valley of Dying Stars
August 20, 2006, I wrote the following review of Superdrag's In the Valley of Dying Stars on Lala:
The opening track, "Keep It Close to Me," is a rock monster that cannot be slayed. It breathes fire and kills the king's noble knights who come to slay it.
Man, does that ever still ring true. I regret using the verb slay twice in two sentences, but it's true. This album is really the dark side of the band's now reborn Christina frontman, John Davis. It is also a signal that John Davis was a dying star. An alcoholic, he felt the presence of God sometime in the time between this album and following Superdrag album, Last Call for Vitriol (not recommended!). He was living a perilous life of fame and drugs, so thank God that He called John back to make great music.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
on The opening track, "Keep It Close to Me," is a rock monster that cannot be slayed. It breathes fire and kills the king's noble knights who come to slay it.
Man, does that ever still ring true. I regret using the verb slay twice in two sentences, but it's true. This album is really the dark side of the band's now reborn Christina frontman, John Davis. It is also a signal that John Davis was a dying star. An alcoholic, he felt the presence of God sometime in the time between this album and following Superdrag album, Last Call for Vitriol (not recommended!). He was living a perilous life of fame and drugs, so thank God that He called John back to make great music.
. It is also a signal that John Davis was a dying star. An alcoholic, he felt the presence of God sometime in the time between this album and following Superdrag album, Last Call for Vitriol (not recommended!). He was living a perilous life of fame and drugs, so thank God that He called John back to make great music.Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Note from the plane 6-17-07
Boys,
I am writing this from the airplane and sending it when I land.
It was great seeing you both on Saturday.
Dallas is not as horrible as I thought it would be, but I can't say I love it either.
I was offered another job here and I think it is the best fit. It is an analyst position [...]. In particular, this job would have me writing Policy and Procedure as well as training [...]. I told them I would make a decision in 24 hours.
Man, oh, man! The woman next to me is earing some BAD perfume! You'd think I'm pregnant or something! It's so thick I can fart all I want and she'll never know.
The weather was hot and humid but not unbearable.
Yo, T-Bone! Thanks for the booze. It saved me a from having to buy a 40 on my way home from Gene's.
And Gene, you only get BETTER WITH AGE. Lots of love.
Oh man, now that was a BAD fart. I wouldn't be surprised if American Airlines deducts from frequent flyer miles from me for that one! It might've just broken the pressure-control mechanism in the cabin!
Love,
Your secret admirer
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
I am writing this from the airplane and sending it when I land.
It was great seeing you both on Saturday.
Dallas is not as horrible as I thought it would be, but I can't say I love it either.
I was offered another job here and I think it is the best fit. It is an analyst position [...]. In particular, this job would have me writing Policy and Procedure as well as training [...]. I told them I would make a decision in 24 hours.
Man, oh, man! The woman next to me is earing some BAD perfume! You'd think I'm pregnant or something! It's so thick I can fart all I want and she'll never know.
The weather was hot and humid but not unbearable.
Yo, T-Bone! Thanks for the booze. It saved me a from having to buy a 40 on my way home from Gene's.
And Gene, you only get BETTER WITH AGE. Lots of love.
Oh man, now that was a BAD fart. I wouldn't be surprised if American Airlines deducts from frequent flyer miles from me for that one! It might've just broken the pressure-control mechanism in the cabin!
Love,
Your secret admirer
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Last Night at the Galleria
The Galleria, for those of you who do not know, is a large mall in North Dallas with many high end stores and boutiques (Louie Vuitton, Versace, Gucci, et. al.), some of my favorites (Brooks Brothers, and Kate Spade) and some of the usual crap which can also be blamed for the sad state of affairs in the US (Abercrombia, American Eagle, Old Navy, et. al.). Yesterday marked the grand opening of the American Girl Boutique and Bistro.
In true Dallas fashion, the masses came because the masses in Dallass are generally fat, lazy, irresponsible consumers. So, it was no surprise to see that while I was walking to the Galleria that the Dallas Police Department was on site to direct traffic. I walk to the Galleria a few times a week because it close, clean and safe. Dallas is not a bike-friendly or walking-friendly city, so I must choose my destination carefully. When I came to the corner where I normally cross Alpha Road (near Nordstrom*), overambitious cops blew whistles and stopped traffic for me although I was comfortable waiting for a break in traffic. I do suppose that the site of foot traffic confuses many drivers here in Dallas!
So inside the mall, I began people watching. I was amazed by how many bellies take their people for a walk--that is to say that the belly moves first and the body follows. It's a very sad site to see couples walking and the men have larger breasts than their wives. Oh, but you will see it here in Dallas!
Then I began considering the traffic within the stores. The department stores are always predictably busy, as are the Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy-pseudo department store. Coach attracts good traffic, but then as I sat across from The Original Levi's Store, I was amazed by how empty their store was. They have great products, a good return policy and are even doing some very responsible things. I recently purchased a paid of 539 Vintage Eco jeans there for around $12. Organic cotton, dark wash, great fit for $12 (albeit made in Indonesia)! Maybe they verbally abuse their patrons? Maybe someone farted really badly in there?
My wife had the solution (yes, Levi's, she's a photographer and we're available for consulting!): The window displays. When you consider the interaction between the layout of the store, which to my eyes looked great, you realize that there are no faces visible. My wife's suggestion is to post huge photos in the windows. Photos with hot models looking right at you. She cited studies showing that magazines that had cover models looking away sell fewer copies that copies of the same magazine with the models looking deep into the camera (and, consequently, you). My suggestion for Levi's, aside from giving us 1 billion dollars, is to consider focusing in on two of their core images: rockers and cowboys. Hot rockers (not even a real band, unless you really want indie cred) but a group of hot models with guitars and drums and rock equipment or a sexy cow-boys and -girls in tight Levi's.
Levi's, you are making a great product, but you need to sell it. I buy it, but we need to get people in the door. It's a large store, but empty. My wife has suggestions for the women's line as well.
Cheers!
*Gentle readers, the proper name of the department store Nordstrom is Nordstrom. Please do not let me catch you saying Nordstrom's! I will find something organic starting with the letter "S" and force you to eat it! That will serve to remind you that there is only 1 "S" in Nordstrom.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
In true Dallas fashion, the masses came because the masses in Dallass are generally fat, lazy, irresponsible consumers. So, it was no surprise to see that while I was walking to the Galleria that the Dallas Police Department was on site to direct traffic. I walk to the Galleria a few times a week because it close, clean and safe. Dallas is not a bike-friendly or walking-friendly city, so I must choose my destination carefully. When I came to the corner where I normally cross Alpha Road (near Nordstrom*), overambitious cops blew whistles and stopped traffic for me although I was comfortable waiting for a break in traffic. I do suppose that the site of foot traffic confuses many drivers here in Dallas!
So inside the mall, I began people watching. I was amazed by how many bellies take their people for a walk--that is to say that the belly moves first and the body follows. It's a very sad site to see couples walking and the men have larger breasts than their wives. Oh, but you will see it here in Dallas!
Then I began considering the traffic within the stores. The department stores are always predictably busy, as are the Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy-pseudo department store. Coach attracts good traffic, but then as I sat across from The Original Levi's Store, I was amazed by how empty their store was. They have great products, a good return policy and are even doing some very responsible things. I recently purchased a paid of 539 Vintage Eco jeans there for around $12. Organic cotton, dark wash, great fit for $12 (albeit made in Indonesia)! Maybe they verbally abuse their patrons? Maybe someone farted really badly in there?
My wife had the solution (yes, Levi's, she's a photographer and we're available for consulting!): The window displays. When you consider the interaction between the layout of the store, which to my eyes looked great, you realize that there are no faces visible. My wife's suggestion is to post huge photos in the windows. Photos with hot models looking right at you. She cited studies showing that magazines that had cover models looking away sell fewer copies that copies of the same magazine with the models looking deep into the camera (and, consequently, you). My suggestion for Levi's, aside from giving us 1 billion dollars, is to consider focusing in on two of their core images: rockers and cowboys. Hot rockers (not even a real band, unless you really want indie cred) but a group of hot models with guitars and drums and rock equipment or a sexy cow-boys and -girls in tight Levi's.
Levi's, you are making a great product, but you need to sell it. I buy it, but we need to get people in the door. It's a large store, but empty. My wife has suggestions for the women's line as well.
Cheers!
*Gentle readers, the proper name of the department store Nordstrom is Nordstrom. Please do not let me catch you saying Nordstrom's! I will find something organic starting with the letter "S" and force you to eat it! That will serve to remind you that there is only 1 "S" in Nordstrom.
Copyright © 2007 David ben-Avram
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
